If MI6 are looking for a new secret agent, a new 00, I think they should look no further. I’m their man. Not because I’m suave, dangerous, or irresistible to beautiful foreign female secret agents (although, I might be), but because I’m invisible. Nobody notices me.
Nobody expects the no mark.
I melt into the background, I’m not physically imposing, in fact I look weak. A cross between Mr Bean and a mature Harry Potter, with a splash of George Clooney during his Dr Ross years. I don’t look a threat.
They won’t see me coming.
Unfortunately, I don’t drive an Aston Martin (out of choice obviously) but my 1 litre Eco-boost galaxy blue Ford Fiesta will be able to creep up to a target unnoticed. At which point there’s no escape. I’ll unleash the full force of my MI6 training. Chinese burns, wedgies, and if that doesn’t work I’ll bore them to death by explaining the importance of DNS in the modern world. (People do not know what I’m capable of.)
Of course, if I’m captured I’d never break. Having spent decades working in an office chained to a desk in jobs which sucked the life out of me, they could do no worse.
I’ll then obviously go back to my normal life like nothing happened. Back to being a no mark, ready for my next mission, for King & Country.
So, forget James Bond, Jason Bourne and Jack Bauer. The secret agent you really need is Mike Isherwood.
Licence to Bore!
Take Care,
Mike
Who Wrote This?
Note: All me.. Why do all the secret agents names all start with J?